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MIDNIGHT MEAT TRAIN (2008)
If you say you are watching this movie for anything other than the hilarious title you are a liar. This weird art type film (or at least that's how it played in the beginning) follows the life and times of a photographer who stumbles onto, well, the Midnight Meat Train. Creepy and strange right up to the part where the ending made a feeble attempt to explain anything that happened over the course of the film. The finale was just a (metaphorical) train wreck. Nothing makes sense, it's like they ran out of time and just threw something in.
⭐
We are all watching it because it sounds sexual, let's get that out of the way. If you say you are watching it for Brad Cooper you are a filthy liar, he is nothing more than a pleasant surprise. BC is a photographer so he stalks folk around New York (as one does) and starts to follow a mysterious man. Then there is a train. Then it's midnight. Then there’s meat. He gets a sick shot of the dude that is honestly gorgeous to behold but then Brad becomes off. A vegetarian, he eats the steak off his friend's plate. Also the scary man has barnacles that he will occasionally scrape off and put in a container. Why? Fuck you, that's why.
A ton of suspense and build up lead us to a ride on the midnight meat train where bodies are stripped of imperfections (like those pesky teeth) and fed to subterranean monsters (who are picky enough to want their humans butchered for them), Brad sacrifices his girlfriend (for no reason) to become the new MMT butcher (for no reason) to feed the mole people because plot? I was kind of buying into it and then they just took a big old poo at the end and now I'm completely out. Will be happy to never watch again.
#M#Midnight meat train#midnight meat train review#clive barker#bradley cooper#leslie bibb#brooke shields#roger bart#horror#horror action#action#horror review#horror action review#1 star#1 star reviews#old review#og review#older review#horror movie review#horror movie#movie review#spooky movie review#horror films
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The Midnight Meat Train - 2008
SAFE/Caution - A,V,M•
Approx. 31:55 •A,V• Mahogany hits the man with a mallet he pauses and grabs his stomach slowly. He looks unwell, and the camera goes to an underneath view, and he groans and lets a bit of blood dribble out of his mouth onto the camera.
Approx. 1:19:00 •A,V• Maya g* when she sees bodies hanging in the train.
Approx. 1:22:43 •A,V• Mahogany gets hit in the mouth by Leon, and blood sprays.
Approx. 1:29:36 - 1:30:29 •A,V• Mahogany gets impaled, and a larger amount of blood comes out of his mouth.
Approx. 1:39:38 - 1:40:10 •A,V• Leon gets his tongue ripped out, and lots of blood comes out of his mouth. He is seen with blood dripping from his mouth until the next scene.
***Exessive gore, coughing, spitting and blood on and around mouth can be seen and heard throughout movie.***
#emetophobia#movie review#tv review#emetophobic#emeto film critic#emetophobia warning#emetophobia help#movies#emetophobia warnings#emeto tw#the midnight meat train#bradley cooper#vinnie jones#horror#gore
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The Midnight Meat Train (2008)
A photographer investigates a mysterious stranger who may be behind many mysterious disappearances aboard a late night train.
There were several recognisable actors which carried the drama a lot better than if they were lesser known and that’s easily the major attraction of the movie. Some of the basic concept is also effective but it’s not always handled in the best way since there have to be breaks for the characters to go home and marinate on events.
Some of the gore was effective in a brutal way but was mainly let down by the CGI which was more comical, especially when in the slow motion sequences. The antagonist was a sounding board for the protagonist with less personality than even Jason Voorhees and most of his appearances didn’t include a face.
The photography and art element lended some credence to the cinematography, ignoring the slow-mo segments. The investigation was intriguing for a while but wasn’t unpredictable enough for the audience to not guess exaclty who was to go and when. The lighting was one of the strongest elements, mainly on the train as it looked vaguely like an abattoire before the killings occur.
Easily the biggest weakness of the film was how disappointing the ending was. It wasn’t entirely unpredictable and mainly served to make the entire unravelling of the narrative completely pointless, not to mention unsatisfying. It also leaves several points of the lore unanswered, such as what the point of it all was, which isn’t great.
2/10 -It’s not THE worst, that’s something else. But…-
-Despite being referred to as the "Midnight" Meat Train, the actual schedule always put the murder trains after 2PM.
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///// The Midnight Meat Train /////
Summary
A photographer becomes increasingly obsessed with the frequent disappearances of people on the night train and the man surrounding it. As his obsession develops and he uncovers more of the mystery he starts losing his grip on his job, relationships, and mentality.
Review (minor spoliers)
This movie was a lot of fun in some places and in others it seemed to drag on. Being a mix between a thriller and a slasher (kinda) it didn’t always feel like I was watching the same movie. As an antagonist I LOVED meat tenderizer guy! His scenes were always so much fun and entertaining to watch. On the other hand I wanted to beat the shit out of Bradley Cooper’s pretentious twunk ass during the whole movie. I’m still unsure how I feel about the big twist at the end. The big twist and Cooper’s character development is why I think I would enjoy the movie more during a rewatch. All in all a pretty good movie and well worth the hour and 40 minutes.
#the midnight meat train#movies#films#horror#horror movies#horror films#movie review#movie suggestions#movie recommendation#cw: gore#cw: violence#cw: Bradley Cooper#cinema#movie poster#rant#review#mystery
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Master List of my Ted Raimi gifs
Movies & Shows
Skinner (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10)
Supernatural (1) (2) (3)
Dante's Hotel
Millennium Crisis
The Fountain Clowns
Lunatics: A Love Story
The Attic Expeditions
The Man with the Screaming Brain
Attack of the 50 Foot Cheerleader
Deadwax
The Quarry
Creepshow
The Midnight Meat Train
Shocker
Eddie Presley
The Shot
The Grudge
Candyman
Darkman
Intruder
Angel of Death
Clarissa X
30 Days of Night: Dust to Dust
Illusion
Masters of Horror - The Damned Thing
Ash vs Evil Dead
Odyssey 5
SeaQuest DSV
Xena
Hercules
A.L.F.
Buddy Thunderstruck
American Gothic
Diamonds & Guns
Alien Nation
Survival of the Film Freaks
My Name is Bruce
High Hopes
Freezerburn
Freak Talks About Sex
In This Corner
Legend of the Seeker - Season One
Twin Peaks
Darkness Rising
Planet Raptor
Videodome Rent-O-Rama
The First Man
Evil Dead II
Army of Darkness
Thou Shalt Not Kill... Except
Iggy Vile M.D.
Red Zone/Players
Apollo 11
The Finishing Touch
Between the Sheets
Warpath
Acting and Reacting
It's Murder
Wishmaster
Spiderman Trilogy
Patriot Games
Reign Over Me
Easy Wheels
CSI: NY
Semblance
Inside Out IV
Tales From the Crapper
Failure! Trailer
MISCELLANEOUS
Millennium Crisis - Behind the Scenes (1) (2) (3) (4) (5)
Skinner - Behind the Scenes
HorrorHound Weekend
Meet the Filmmakers
Letterboxd Reviews
Alone Music Video
Ted Raimi Alphabet
The Thick Brown Line
Random Ted Raimi Roles
Fanalysis
Random Voice Acting Roles
Swallowed Souls
Medieval Times
Steel City Con
From the Mouth of Babes
Morbid Minutes Behind the Scenes
The Scariest Stories Ever Told
#ted raimi#my gifs#gifs#masterlist#master list#the attic expeditions#dante's hotel#shocker#darkman#deadwax#millennium crisis#the man with the screaming brain#the quarry#creepshow#a whole bunch more
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you could spend your time doing something productive or enjoyable OR you could rewatch midnight meat train because one of your horror reviewers is going to talk about it next week
#its definitely a movie#things sure do happen in the movie#lionsgate definitely did release it#to be clear when i say 'rewatch' i mean i saw it like ten years ago
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473 : The Book Club Of Blood 2 - The Midnight Meat Train
In the Clive Barker Podcast, long-time fans Ryan and Jose interview guests, bring you the news, and take deep dives into Barker-related stuff. In Episode 473, We continue the Book Club of Blood with our friend and Patreon supporter Erik Van T’Holt to talk about The Midnight Meat Train.
The Book Club of Blood is a loose discussion over Zoom. Due to limitations of connectivity, this time around the episode is audio only.
Sponsor : Don Bertram’s Celebrate Imagination | Pinterest | ETSY Store
Take a look at “The Truth Behind It All, ” “The Sun Watchers” and “The Descendant“
Check Out his videos going over the original painting “The Bug Brothers” and his intro to the 35th Anniversary screening of Hellraiser.
Patreon Members Shout-Out (Become a Patron)
David Anderson
Erik Van T’ Holt
Daniel Elven
Amanda Stewart
Bradley Gartz
Returning Sponsor: Don Bertram’s Celebrate Imagination
What’s New for our Patreon Subscribers
Book Club of Blood Discussion
The Midnight Meat Train Clive Barker, The Books of Blood V1
Show Notes
The Midnight Meat Train – 2008, Ryuhei Kitamura
The Midnight Meat Train – 2014, Dark Regions Press
Tapping the Vein Book 3
Retro Review of the Midnight Meat Train by Rob Ridenour
Above the Curve Vinyard (and Ryan’s mom’s house)
Coming Next
Hellraiser Quartet of Torment Disc 4
News and Interviews
Jericho Squad 77
Bookclub of Blood
And this podcast, having no beginning will have no end.
web www.clivebarkercast.com
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Music is by Ray Norrish
All Links and show notes in their Entirety can be found at http://www.clivebarkercast.com
New episode of the Clive Barker Podcast
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The Midnight Meat Train (2008) Movie Review
The Midnight Meat Train – ABC Film Challenge – Favourites – M – Movie Review Director: Ryûhei Kitamura Writer: Jeff Buhler (Screenplay) Writer: Clive Barker (Short Story) Cast Bradley Cooper (The Hangover) Leslie Bibb (Trick R Treat) Brooke Shields (The Blue Lagoon) Vinnie Jones (X-Men The Last Stand) Roger Bart (Hostel Part II) Plot: A photographer’s obsessive pursuit of dark subject…
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But but but... Raphael still has not actually discovered what kind of creature is lurking in his home now. Is he not at all curious? Is he not bothered by the noises happening now and then as it rustles through his stuff or knocks something over or such?
Raphael stretched his aching limbs when he stumbled back into his home around midnight. Michael meant well, and got the training regimen specifically arranged for him. It’s just a shame when Raphael half-assed it and flunked on the forms. And now: Ow.
Admitting he was in the wrong himself was the worst.
Maybe he should think about doing more of a regimen. Properly. If nothing else grabbed his attention. Maybe. … sometimes he could understand Michael’s frustration with everyone.
Ah well.
The daily check of the food bowls revealed that a slight bit of green produce was left over. He made note of it. Not the whole pound of celery stalks was consumed. Well, better than the different kinds of cabbage he’d offered beforehand. The whole three pounds of meat had still disappeared.
Hungry little fellow.
… still had to be little, right? Otherwise he would have seen the critter by then.
After three weeks of careful non-searching – privacy is important and should be granted, even to weird trespassing critters – he should still have seen something that can consume four pounds of food without breaking a sweat. If it worked in conventional ways.
I had left two hairs behind. One in the pile of wool… one stuck to the pottery clay. One was black. One was… a blackish-red? Slightly coarse, maybe the length of a segments of his finger, but without a root, the fur might be even longer…
So it had… blackish-red fur. At least partially. Ate four pounds of food without issue, had opened the lab-door the second day it had been in the flat – apparently, a proper key would be in order – and… that’s that. No metallic pens were allowed anymore, they get thrown down and bitten into. The bitemarks are inconclusive, though.
It appears to be a mammal. Which… is a bit of a disappointment, usually Raphael attracts birds – and they have a much more favourable disposition to him. Reptiles would have been fine, too… a big insect, maybe? But… a mammal it was.
With a shrug, the angel grabbed the bowls and put them on the pile to go downstairs for the next morning. A few files were waiting already their review was done.
It was a bit of a shock how long it stuck around, actually. The window had been open the whole time. After two days, a little ramp had been added to ease a possible escape, but it had been destroyed. And the window bitten into. Which… seemed to be a theme.
Walking up to the sofa for the current excursion into Late Cretaceous period, he noticed that the theme of biting had received a bit of an expansion.
The armrest of the sofa had been bitten through, stuffing falling out. Large parts of the pillows were simply destroyed… whole chunks of the seating pillows were partially ripped out.
Hm. Someone seemed unhappy. It most likely was not the fault of the food. Had the visitor been fed up by something?
Or was it the change in schedule?
Raphael smiled at the destroyed furniture: “Did you miss me?” Then flipped over the cushions – not the most comfortable, but it would do for the night – and sat down to flip a geography book open: “I can tell you when I’ll come and go. If that helps. I still don’t know if you understand me…”
And currently there was no real way to judge…
“… I mean… uhm… put… one of the bitten pillows into a bowl when you’re done eating? Tomorrow? That’s not demeaning? We can go from there?” It still felt really awkward talking to himself.
“… or you just bite me and I get a good look at you and we’re fine.” He looked around just in case, trying to look… delicious? Easy to grab with teeth?
After about five minutes, he gave up on the vigilance: “It was worth a shot.”
Avisaurus will entertain. With their strange socket joints between shoulderblade and shoulder girdle. A concave coracoid and convex scapula is the modern day version. Those were exactly the opposite. ‘Opposite bird’ was right.
Their particular brand of anatomy had spread all over the world… only to die out in the looked after Late Cretaceous. Actually… he wanted to hold it in his hands. At least in form, if not in material.
The clay would be used for once. He pulled open the image of the Avisaurus archibaldii and stated to re-build one of the skeletons to scale. He had a pelican skeleton in the attic, so comparisons would be interesting to make, size-approximations helped there.
So he was almost done with the model of the second wind, when he felt a sharp, thorny pain. His wands immediately let the model fall and reached down to grab for the curlprit. Firmly.
It was an almost ear-destroying noise that was first too high and then too low, growling with abandon. He knew better than to let go, though.
Blinking, the angel looked down and saw… a fox. Mostly black with wide areas of red, nothing grey or white in there. Teeth still embedded in his calf.
It’s eyes did not reflect any light, but it didn’t struggle, simply growled.
“Sorry, I have to get a picture,” his phone was the closest camera-supplied apparatus in sight. “Good to see you. Thank you. It hurts a lot. But… you can’t actually harm me… so… maybe come out some other time, you can show me which food you actually like”
When he finally let go, the teeth dislodged to get a deep nip slightly below in. And then ran away. It disappeared into the bedroom. Leaving a bit of a blood trail behind. But had its tail between its legs.
Mh.
“Sorry about that! You surprised me!” He called after the critter.
The wounds were bleeding properly, which was already a good thing. He made a photo of them as well, then ran a hand over the little incisions and closed them up again.
Ah well, cold water and a cloth would get rid of the stains. And then he could continue modelling. Hadn’t seemed like the fox-creature wanted to come back any time soon.
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On disc this week: THE PRICE WE PAY, a new criminals-stumble-into-a-horror-movie romp from director Ryûhei Kitamura (VERSUS, AZUMI, BRADLEY COOPER'S THE MIDNIGHT MEAT TRAIN).
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The Books of Blood
Clive Barker is one of my favorite authors and writers. It was about time that I read the Books of Blood. There is still a lot I need to read by him, but I’m excited. So far, I finished Vol. 1 and 2 of the series, but here are my rankings of them so far. Can’t wait to finish Vol 3 and find the rest of the series!
Books of Blood - 3.75
Midnight Meat Train - 4.5
The Yattering and Jack - 4.25
Pig Blood Blues - 4.00
Sex, Death, and Starshine - 3.00
In the Hills, The Cities - 3.50
Dread - 4.25
Hell’s Event - 3.25
Jacqueline Ess: Her Will and Testament - 3.50
The Skins of the Fathers - 3.75
New Murders in the Rue Morgue - 3.75
#horror#books#clive barker#books of blood#reading#literature#midnight meat train#novels#writing#short stories#hellraiser#candyman#dread#book review#horror novels#bookworm#bookblr
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The Midnight Meat Train (2008)
Release Date: July 19th, 2008
This had the most potential out of any horror movie I’ve seen..... The most wasted potential. Bradley Cooper plays a New York photographer who wants to catch his big break, and a famous gallery owner is going to help him, only if he delivers “raw images” to her, so he goes down into the subway and gets photos of a gang trying to assault a woman, and he saves her. She gets into the subway and is immediately killed by someone else. Bradley Cooper’s character continues going into the subway or out on the streets at night to get pictures for this gallery owner, and in doing so, launches his own investigation into the people who go missing on the subway. And it shows this other guy just brutally murdering whoever is on that subway train late at night, and you’re into it, and it’s a mystery. And then the HUGE SPOILER twist is that the people are murdered so these alien lizards can eat them and don’t come onto the streets and kill everyone else. It’s idiotic.
Rating: D. Way to fuck everything up, Clive Barker’s stupid ass.
#the midnight meat train#movie review#2008#horror#indie#bradley cooper#leslie bibb#brooke shields#roger bart#ted raimi#vinnie jones#peter jacobson#d#clive barker
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1595
What was the name of the main character in the last book you read? Edward, I guess lol. I just found the copy of Midnight Sun that I totally thought I lost two years ago and have been rereading it from the start even though I know what happens.
Do you own a pair of Disney pajamas? I don’t. Not anymore, at least.
What are three of your favorite toppings for salads? I only eat one kind of salad and that’s spicy tuna salad, so whatever goes in it.
What was the last place you went out to eat? Andi and I went to this quaint little cafe in Maginhawa last Tuesday where I helped review them for an upcoming law exam. I didn’t exactly have a big meal there as I had a heavy lunch earlier that day, but I did get two of their double chocolate cream cheese cookies, plus a mocha nut latte.
Do you have a lot of clutter in your home? Funny and very timely that you mention this because we actually used to, but my dad decluttered AS FUCK throughout this week. The house looked like a jungle the entire time he was clearing out stuff.
What was the last pill you took? 💊 My best friend, Biogesic, for a headache I had a few days ago.
Are you happy with your current doctor? 👩⚕️ I don’t have a regular doctor.
Is there a bottle of Benadryl in your medicine cabinet? No. Do you take vitamins? Nope. My carpal tunnel syndrome got extremely bad this week though and it had me worrying about whether I should start taking vitamins more frequently to help mitigate it. My left arm has felt funky the last few days and it is NOT pleasant.
Does your hair need to be washed right now? Well not for a while, because I already took a shower like half an hour ago.
What was the last thing you ate? The best cheeseburger ever, made by my dad.
Do you prefer pizza or hot dogs? 🌭 🍕 Pizza. More variety.
What is your favorite pizza topping? 🍕 Cheese, bell peppers, onions. Not a fan of meat on my pizza and I almost always give the small chunks (if any) to my dogs instead.
Is your dad a jerk? He has some opinions that can be kinda out there for me but overall those are just a once-in-a-while type of thing that doesn’t affect what I think of him. My dad is a great guy.
What color are your fingernails painted? They’re not painted and haven’t been in a while but I WILL SHARE! that Trina gave me these adorable RM-themed press-on nails for Christmas; most of the designs were scarlet. It was my first time applying them so the finish was quite clumsy, but I still really liked how they look and I appreciate the effort she put in giving the gift.
Is anyone in your family currently in the military? No. I know someone currently serving though... :(
What was the last thing you bought at the dollar store? From our dollar store equivalent, the last thing I got was a pair of training chopsticks. All the hours I spent watching Return of Superman made me want one of my own, lol. Are prices of things going up where you live? Yes. My family is fortunate to not be affected by it (unless my parents are doing a great job pretending for our sake...? I doubt they are, though, as they are comfortably spending on leisure-y stuff now), and I am extremely grateful and aware of the privilege considering the financial difficulties we faced during the pandemic.
But inflation is for sure felt by many others - the question of whether or not families could even afford a Noche Buena dinner this Christmas is constantly covered in the news and it makes me sad.
What color was the last carpet you sat on? Grey.
What is your favorite dog breed? Aspins and beagles.
When was the last time you wore make-up? 💄 Mid-November for a work event.
What was the last thing you ordered at the last restaurant you went to? Oh I kinda answered this earlier but I got two cookies and a mocha nut latte. I got the latter just because I didn’t know what it was and I felt like trying something new, so I was really excited when I learned that it was essentially mocha with fucking CHOCNUT. Drink turned out amazing.
What was the last thing you wore that was pink? A pair of lounge shorts.
Name three people you know, if any, that currently live in another country. Hannah, Pam, Sofie.
Name three people you know who are from another country (and what countries?) I wouldn’t call the Philippines diverse. Only way you’d get to know people from other countries is if you attend an international school or work at a multinational company, pretty much.
What are your grandmas' names? Dolores, Agnes.
If applicable, who lives across the hall from you? It is not, in fact, applicable.
Have you ever heard of "fairy hair"? (It's tinsel in the hair that gets put in permanently...it's like tinsel highlights.) I’m afraid I haven’t.
Have you found any gray hairs on your head? Yes.
If applicable, how old were you when you found your first gray hair? I was 11 when my mom first spotted one on me.
Do you think you will dye your hair when it's gone gray? Maybe when they start arriving earlier than I’d like, yeah.
Do you have a sister-in-law? Kind of, yeah - my cousin’s fiancée. That cousin is practically a brother of mine at this point, so I’m counting Kat as an in-law.
Do you have a brother-in-law? Nope.
When was the last time you went swimming? 👙 ☀️ Two or three weeks ago, can’t recall well at the moment. Tomorrow I’ll be at the beach again so I imagine I’ll be doing lots of swimming too by then :)
Do you own a bikini? Yeps.
What color is your bike, if you own one? I don’t, because I don’t know how to ride them.
If you were a rockstar, what color guitar would you have? 🎸 Purple.
What are three places you've been on vacation that you've enjoyed? Sagada, Jeju, San Felipe in Zambales.
Does your home have carpeted floors? No. Not at all a common feature in houses here.
What color was the last scarf you wore? I don’t wear scarves.
What was the last spicy thing you ate? I mixed sriracha sauce and mayo in the burger I had for dinner.
Do you like sushi? 🍣 Yes, a lot!
When was the last time you had sushi? 🍱 About a month ago when my family went to a Japanese restaurant for lunch. The place is more known for their ramen but the sushi craving was bad that day so that’s what I ended up getting, lol.
Can you see a box from where you are sitting right now? Several.
Would you rather sing or dance? 🎤 💃 Right now, I feel like answering dance.
What color was the last sports bra you wore, if applicable? Black.
What is your nicest neighbor's name? I don’t know any of their names and don’t talk to them nearly enough to determine who’s the nicest.
Would you rather have a personal chef or personal house cleaner? Chef. Cleaning I can do on my own, but I’m incapable of anything in the kitchen so having someone do all my meals (and have them turn out great every time) would be fantastic.
Do you have any zits on your face right now? Yeah the right side of my face is going through It.
Do you wear glasses or contacts? Glasss, yep.
How many Britney Spears albums have you owned? I’ve never bought her albums; nothing against her, but I was always a Beyoncé girl.
What was the first concert you went to? Paramore, 2013.
Do you like cheese? 🧀 Yeah but I'm not obsessed with it enough the way some people like to make it a part of their personality. Which I’m not saying is bad or cringey, but I just don’t like cheese that way haha.
What are three of your favorite things to sprinkle cheese on top of? Pizza, spaghetti, and not sprinkle but I do like to dip samgyeopsal in a cheese dip.
What are three of your favorite bakery items? Croissants, doughnuts, chocolate chip cookies.
When was the last time you went to a bakery? 🧁 Last week to pick up a box of cookies for Bea’s birthday.
Do you prefer coffee or chai? ☕️ Coffee. I haven’t even had chai and don’t have the first clue how it tastes.
Do you know what "chai" means? Can’t speak for chai but I know that cha means tea in many parts of Asia. In Filipino we call it tsaa (as in cha-ah).
What are three other names you like that start with the same letter as your name? Rose/Rosie/Rosalie, Rhiannon, Renée.
What are three creative hobbies you enjoy? Writing, painting...and yeah that’s it.
Is there a bag or basket of yarn somewhere in your home? 🧶 Possibly. And if we do, it’s most likely my mom’s or sister’s. Do you ever wear skirts? Nope, not my style in the slightest. I used to have a denim skirt but I haven’t worn it in yeeeEEEEEEARS. Do you ever find it hard to live in a world where nobody cares? Continued from Friday evening. It can be frustrating, which is why I like to surround myself with people who do care a little more than others. Would you rather have a tattoo of a skull or a flower? Flowers. In fact that design doesn’t sound too meh to me now and I’d love to get a tattoo inspired by Namjoon’s song, Wild Flower. Have you ever had to take steroids? 💊 Nope.
What are three of the worst withdrawal effects or side effects you have experienced from a medication? 💊 I haven’t had any.
What are three things you like about church? Nothing.
What are three things you dislike about church? The way they dictate how people should lead their lives; the way that many followers are hypocrites; and the way they cover up sexual abuse issues. I hate everything about the religion but these are my three main reasons. Does your town have a horse and carriage company? There are calesas that continue to roam around Manila offering to give rides (mainly to tourists, I’m guessing), but I hate those and hope that people stop supporting them enough for them to discontinue because I feel bad for the horses.
Who are three of the biggest jerks you know? I don’t really keep jerks in my lives so suffice it to say that the biggest ones I know are probably just the occasional asshole drivers I encounter on the road.
Have you ever met a Jason that you didn't like? I don’t think so. Nobody comes to mind now, at least.
Have you ever had a friend named Sarah? Nope.
Did you go to school with a Suzy? I didn’t; not really a common name here.
What was the name of the person who bullied you the most in high school Bullying was pretty much nonexistent by the time I got to high school. In my younger years, though, I had to deal with Kaira who had a pretty nasty attitude - particularly towards me - in kindergarten and the first few years of grade school,. By Grade 4 we were civil and I even remember her sharing her recess with me; by high school we were in the same friend group. Do you know someone named Matthew? A few, but I’m not close with any of them.
...Mark? Doesn’t ring a bell.
....Luke? Yeah, I have a cousin with the name. Also had English classes with a Luke, back in college.
....John? So many. It’s extremely common here, along with Maria for girls. John is so popular that many boys have it as their first name, where it largely serves as a placeholder - John Luis, John David, John Christian, etc.
Have you ever been friends with an Ashley? Nope. Too white a name where I live, lol. ....an Emily? No.
....a Jessica? I knew one from high school. Acted as white as her name.
....a David? Yes, this is Andi’s second name. Also Patrice’s boyfriend.
Have you ever dated a Matthew? No.
Who was the last person you remember hanging up on you? Just a delivery rider who was confirming my order and had nothing else to ask me.
How's your heart? Are you wounded? 💔 She’s doing fantastic.
What was the last type of pie you ate? Pizza.
Are you happy today? Yeah, I’m great for now. I’m on vacation but we’re checking out in about an hour, so I’m just making the most out of the remaining time we have here. I imagine my happiness won’t last the the whole day though - by 11 PM I have a World Cup final-related event to attend and manage, and I’m not fucking delighted about working near midnight for a sport I couldn’t give two shits for.
What time did you wake up this morning? It was around 8 AM.
And last but not least, did you enjoy this survey? Sure!
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Deliberations of Doom Episode 17: Clive Barker Movies Pt 2 Your favorite doomy types return with the second half of our Clive Barker movies profile, this time getting into Candyman, Lord of Illusions, The Midnight Meat Train, Book of Blood, and Dread. We promise many more rants and major disagreements this time around. read more on One of Us
#Book of Blood#Candyman#Clive Barker#Deliberations of Doom#Dread#horror#Lord of Illusions#movie review#podcast#The Midnight Meat Train#Deliberations Of Doom#film#Home releases#Movie Review
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Malignant, 2021
dir. James Wan
Paralyzed by fear from shocking visions, a woman's torment worsens as she discovers her waking dreams are terrifying realities.
CINEMATOGRAPHY: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
MUSIC: ⭐️⭐️
PERFORMANCES: ⭐️⭐️⭐️
EFFECTS: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
WRITING: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Honorable mention: LIGHTING: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Let's get this out of the way: Malignant is not a great movie, but it's also not supposed to be.
I'm going to try to be light on details in this review, since director James Wan has stated he'd prefer if early viewers kept the twists to ourselves. But I will say this: the ends justify the means. The first half of this film felt a little slow to me, but once the pieces start piling up, it all comes together.
Malignant is just about the James Wanniest James Wan movie that James Wan has ever made. The official trailer has a little piece of press from Wan (giving the trailer a real William Castle or Alfred Hitchcock vibe) in which he states two things that I carried with me into this film: he wanted to get back to his roots, while giving horror audiences something new. In both of these, he succeeds. Malignant is an original story couched in a tonal and stylistic throwback to early-to-mid 2000s horror shlock. For those of us familiar with Wan, it's a welcome return to our era. Wan's directorial debut, 2004's Saw, while generally more bleak than the majority of theatrical horror of the time, is probably the film that best exemplifies horror of that era - in visuals, sound design, acting style, camera movement, and structure. Those of us that grew up around this time and/or fans of 2000s horror know exactly what I mean - these stories are generally original (though the 2000s did see their fair share of sequels, it was before the remake craze really took off) and executed to extremity, with a sort of 1980s shlock comedy flair, quick 'n dirty cinematography, and obscene amounts of gore. And Malignant delivers on all of it. There's a lot more of Saw in this film than Wan's other, more recent works, and for me that's a strength. It's a wild ride, unlike anything that we've seen in about twenty years, and I'd be absolutely fucking ecstatic if it ushered in a resurgence of new-millennium-flavored filmmaking. But I have no idea if it will. Wan's status as one of the most successful horror directors of our time is solid, but I have a feeling that for most of the younger generation - and modern audiences in general who weren't very interested in horror at that time - this is gonna go right over their heads. This flick has more in common with something like The Midnight Meat Train than The Conjuring.
I don't want to review the technical aspects of the movie too closely and color anyone else's experience, since this is just released. I'll only say a few things: To me, a good actor isn't necessarily someone who feels "real", but someone who plays a character the way they need to be played and really gives it their all. The actors, especially our lead, Annabelle Wallis, do just that. I was particularly impressed by the camerawork and lighting in this movie, though the sound design bothered me in the same way it does for all of Wan's films - he loves to dampen the visual impact of his scares through the addition of loud noises, a common tactic in modern horror which I hate. The gore is great, the transformation sequences are wonderful, and it's like a breath of fresh air to see the vibes of my formative years have not been forgotten.
I have nothing but respect for James Wan. He has a clear vision, and it's radically different than any other of the more serious horror greats of our time. I only hope that Malignant will be a hit, and allow more of his projects to be made, because the landscape of 2020s horror is stronger with him in it.
#malignant#malignant 2021#film review#malignant review#movie review#film#james wan#2021#popcornflickstalks
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Blood, Guts and Chocolate Cake
Rating: Mature
Fandom: Danganronpa
Pairings: IshiMondo
Summary:
Mondo Owada, the Ultimate Bodyguard, is entering a four year contract with one Kiyotaka Ishimaru, the Ultimate Idol. It makes sense, two Ultimates put together for their high school careers, and he could use the steady pay check to send home to Daiya; those medical bills were a bitch, and it was his fault the accident happened in the first place.
It was supposed to be easy, guard the cutesy, clean-cut idol from perverts and stalkers, no big deal! However, the world's perception of Kiyotaka Ishimaru was far different than what the young idol had become. During the first few months before even stepping into Hope's Peak, he's more worried for the young boy than he's ever been for anyone before.
TW: Alcohol, and eating disorders (both restrictive behaviours and B/P), mentions of disability, underage sex/sexualisation, drugs
The hallways of this damn building were too long.
That was definitely the first impression Mondo got, being led down said monotonous hallways by a young woman with an expression which implied that she simply wasn’t paid enough to care about small talk. Not that he had any room to judge, hands shoved in his pockets and a permanent scowl on his face. He might’ve been going to review an upcoming contract, but the best thing about his position was that there was no need to be all smiley; Hope Peak’s choice for Ultimate Bodyguard was all the credentials he needed at this point.
Still, he couldn’t help but feel a bit intimidated by how long he would be working with these record label types. He couldn’t deny it made sense - hire the Ultimate Bodyguard to protect the Ultimate Idol, sound logic; it was just that a four year contract was… a lot. That wasn’t even thinking about the fact he was going to be glued to the guy’s hip for all that time, having to get along no matter what. Would he even have time to make friends of his own? Doubtful. Still, a paycheck was a paycheck, and he’d have to go to some highschool anyway, so kill two birds with one stone.
He’d never had an issue smiling through vapid celebrity bullshit before. It was going to be an easy ride, too; from what he knew, the guy was as prim and proper as they came. Real boy next door image. Easy to take care of, and mainly just telling overzealous fans to back the fuck up. Simple.
His inner monologue was broken by an abrupt stop, the woman only sending a bored glance his way before knocking. The door was pushed ajar with the quiet muttering of “Mondo Owada to see you, gentlemen”, before he was unceremoniously shepherded into the room.
It was just as big as you’d expect from a building like this, with a gargantuan desk and several business-types sitting across from him. They were even backlit by a floor-to-ceiling window showing Tokyo in all its glory - like some cheesy ass movie. Still, taking a cursory glance around the room, he couldn’t see anyone fitting the description of “teen idol”, let alone Ishimaru himself...
“Owada-san, good afternoon!” One of the men greeted cheerfully, clasping his hand in one of those firm yet professional grips he’d gotten used to since rising up in his career, “My name is Shiro Kamei, and these gentlemen are Kenshin Aki and Yutaka Hayashida. We’re Kiyotaka Ishimaru-san’s managers.”
“Well, that answers one question,” He shrugged, not sugarcoating his words, but not being as rude as he certainly could be, “But I don’t see Ishimaru-san around. If I’m meeting with anyone, I personally think it should be with the guy I’m gonna be with 24/7, for the next four years.”
“Of course!” Kamei-san chirped, far too cheerful for his taste, especially considering the stench of ass-kissing that followed it. Not sincere, but too many meetings like this one had trained him to swallow down the vomit that threatened to spew from the fakeness of it all.
“Ishimaru-san will be here soon,” Hyashida-san intoned, temperament a bit more palatable than Mr Chipper, “He’s a rather busy young man, being an idol of his caliber. Dance practice is just wrapping up, any minute now, so we can use this time to have a little chat - go through expectations for your role and such.”
Mondo managed to stop himself raising an eyebrow at that. Like he wasn’t the best bodyguard in Japan. He guessed it was something needed for a job of this sort, not temping or whatever, and so he settled down for a bunch of timewasting jabber.
Or, it was, until a certain request caught his attention.
“We also expect him to be kept out of, well… trouble…”
“Thought he was a cutesy, innocent kid?” He frowned, sitting a little straighter in his seat, attention piqued, “I’m guessing he’s the kind to get mouth-breathers and creeps, huh?”
The three men looked a little more caged at that remark. A couple cleared throats, a few tugged collars and cuffs, awkward air.
“Yes, there have been incidents, but nothing previous security couldn’t handle,” Aki-san informed, “The issue is a recent change in attitude. Nothing much, but tugging on the leash more than necessary, if you understand my meaning.”
He did. Part of him wanted to object to the idea that a sixteen year old needed to be kept on a leash at all, but idol shit was full of PR.
“So boy next door is going through a little rebellion, and you want me to make sure it stays on the DL,” He shrugged, “Got it.”
“I wouldn’t put it like that, Owada-san -!”
Kamei-san was interrupted by several short, sharp raps, door opening to reveal the man of the hour.
Ishimaru was pretty, no denying that. His eyes were what really caught everyone’s attention; bright, wide and doll-like. That said nothing about his facial structure - cheekbones and jawline and everything prominent - or his barbie doll-esque frame. He was probably one of the slimmest people Mondo had ever seen, at least in person. Well, and outside of a hospital. The media went absolutely gaga over his thigh gap, his lithe abs and delicate hip bones.
He personally prefers a little more meat on the bones, a little less fragile, but he guessed it was an idol’s job to appeal to the masses.
“Good morning, everybody!” He beams, but honestly? The sunshine emanating from him is a lot warmer - a lot more real - than Kamei-san. He actually had to take a second to come back to himself, knocked off equilibrium. The power of the Ultimate Idol, for you.
“Kiyotaka, this is Mon -”
“Mondo Owada,” He cuts in, wanting to introduce himself, cut the preamble, and offers his hand to shake, “‘M gonna be the one guarding you.”
Ishimaru gives him a once over, and for two seconds he thinks he sees a smirk pull at the corner of the young man’s lips, but he soon brushes it off as a trick of the light.
“Thank you so much for accepting our proposition, Owada-san!” He grins, and Mondo hates his little bi heart at that moment. Ishimaru clasps his hand. He can’t help but feel that they’re too calloused for a pretty boy idol, but he doesn’t dwell on it, “I hope we get along well!”
He’s loud, but the words are sweet, and Mondo relaxes a little bit. Easy job, as he thought.
---
Mondo was proven wrong in a matter of three days into his contract. He’d certainly been proven wrong far quicker than that before; however, in terms of sheer what-the-fuckery-is-this, this situation took the cake.
The train journey to the first tour destination wasn’t bad, if tedious. Kid spent all his time reading, and Mondo had no clue how he didn’t puke all over the place from staring at the pages. He’d looked at his phone for about five minutes and was ready to lie down and accept his death.
… Trains were not his prefered method of transportation…
Ishimaru had passed on the sandwiches on offer, but so did Mondo. No big deal. Those things sucked ass, and maybe the kid was more nauseous than he seemed. Wish that was him, considering he was pretty sure his face was pale green.
Settling into the hotel was fine, as was the tech set up in the venue. Stress emanating off everyone, but pretty normal as far as that shit was concerned. Ishimaru was dragged between costume fittings, tech run throughs and other things that just passed in a blur.
No, what really proved to Mondo that the pretty boy idol was going through an actual rebellious phase, was what he walked in on at 11:56pm, night three.
He’d gotten up due to a serious inability to sleep. Seriously, did he manage to get jet lag without even switching time zones? Nah, didn’t work like that. Maybe it was second hand adrenaline from the performance being tomorrow. Ishimaru might not make his kind of music, but the guy had this infectious enthusiasm for it all. He’d be backstage, too; premo location to see everything up close. He couldn’t help the slight smile on his face, in spite of how tired he felt.
Any fleeting, fuzzy feelings disappeared, however, when he walked into the main area of their hotel suite.
There stood Ishimaru, back to him, very much not dressed for bed. His jeans were so tight they looked spray painted on, not to mention the sequined top that cut off to show a tantalising flash of milky pale skin.
“Where’re you off to?”
His question seemed to startle the kid, who practically jumped three feet in the air, hand clutching his chest as he whirled on him.
“Fuck, what’s your problem?” He gasped out. Mondo couldn’t help but let his eyes widen, having not heard the boy swear since they met. Admittedly, it was only a few days, but Ishimaru just gave off such an innocent vibe. He’d questioned if the boy even knew a swear word for a while.
“The guy I’m meant to protect is running off into the city at midnight, and obviously didn’t plan to tell me,” He answered bluntly, “So, come on, where’re you trying to slink off to?”
“None of your business,” He sniffed, shoulders squaring, “And stop… talking to me like that. Like I’m a child. It’s annoying as shit.”
“Alright, sor-ry, jeez,” He apologised, hands up in surrender, “Let me just grab my coat and -”
“No!” Ishimaru ground out, “I’m going out, you're staying here, and my managers are none the wiser, got it?”
Oh, that sneaky fucker. While Mondo was all for personal freedom, no way was the scrawny kid going out there to get attacked and murdered in some urine soaked alleyway. For one, it’d completely fuck up his plans for the next four years - no money to send back to Daiya, and he seriously doubted Hope’s Peak would want an Ultimate Bodyguard who let the world’s most popular idol get murdered in a matter of days.
“Yeah, no, not happening, kid,” He shut down, reaching over the boy to get his coat, only for hands to press against his chest, stopping him.
“What do you want then? Money?” Ishimaru asked, looking up at him through his lashes. Fuck, the kid really went all out with the makeup; smokey eyeshadow and liner, glossed lips, the whole deal, “Or I can suck your dick?”
He nearly choked at that, face hot as hell and probably an embarrassing shade of red. “N-No! What the fuck?!” He yelled, only earning a shrug in response.
“Look, I need to go out - alone,” Ishimaru began again, arguing a point Mondo simply wasn’t going to agree with, “I need to get a little fucked up, railed into some guy’s mattress, and then I’ll come back. I’ll be here again before sunrise.”
“Tugging on the leash more than necessary”, his ass!
“Sorry, you're talking to the wrong guy,” He dismissed, doing his best impression of Daiya’s you done fucked up voice he could, “Back to bed. Don’t think you’re sneaking out, either. I’m just gonna stay out here all night, make sure you don’t go and get yourself cut up and dumped in the river. Y’know, my job.”
“Fuck you,” Ishimaru spat, storming back to his room with a mutter of ,“Asshole…”
If Mondo knew one thing, it was this… He’d really had no idea what he was signing himself up for.
---
A/N:
WOW, it's been a while since I've written for this fandom. Thank you Taka and Mondo for being an adorable pair of dumbasses and dragging me right back into DR. Hopefully, I'll add to my old fics too, but I've got lots of new ideas I want to play with (Including two other talentswaps and two AUs!)
For now, Ouran fics are on the back burner, I'm afraid. I'm sure I'll be back to them soon enough, but I'm a bit burnt out in my OHSHC obsession, so we'll see.
Also, as always, comments really help and if you want to take any of these concepts and run, go for it! All I ask is a credit and a link if possible! :)
#danganronpa#Dangan Ronpa#dr talentswap#idol!Ishimaru#bodyguard!Mondo#ishimondo#Kiyotaka Ishimaru#mondo oowada#blood guts and chocolate cake series#my fanfiction
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